I have never seen myself as a writer. The idea of being a writer has always terrified me, and to put it simply I have never thought myself to be good enough to be one. I have read some brilliant, thought-provoking books and articles that I could never emulate. Is imitation the best way to learn?
One thing I have always thought myself to be good at is - speaking. My mum always jokes about the fact that I learned to speak quite late (2+ years old) so I am spending the rest of my life making up for the fact. Speaking gives me a feeling of liberation. I often get frustrated when I see people who don't speak for themselves or articulate what they are thinking. For me, speaking gives me control, liberty, and confidence. You may have noticed in the magazines that I have written have that speech-like tone. I believe that my ability to speak well has helped my writing. I often visualise writing as a form of speaking.
This first issue that I wrote for Ensemble Magazines back in 2020 was full of topics that bothered and/or amused me at the time. As this was during the peak of the pandemic, let's be honest, the list of 'things that bother me' was rather long. From topics like dealing with stress to the reckless world of fast fashion. The more I wrote, however, I noticed a slight change in my thinking process. Whilst I started with the intention to write about an ensemble of things I love, I quite quickly started to think about my audience. My background is in marketing, so it is quite natural for me to start thinking like this little project of mine as a business (even though I don't make any money from it and don't intend to). On top of that, the buzz I feel when I hit publish became addictive. especially as the messages and likes start pouring in. Much like our addiction to social media, that positive feedback gave me that dopamine rush. With each issue, I started to notice that instead of brainstorming 'what I like', I started to analyse 'what will my audience like'. And while I am extremely proud of each and every issue that I have written, I am not so proud of this write-for-others attitude. So, instead of rushing into another issue with a blind eye. I thought to pause and reflect. I gave myself the summer to relax, enjoy time with family (especially as I am visiting India) and recharge.
What has taking a break taught me?
The first thing that I have realised is that giving yourself time to switch off can be the best thing for your creativity and productivity. During this time, I have sat down and asked myself the following fundamental questions, all of which I think anyone can use when they feel like they are in a rut:
What am I doing?
Why am I doing it?
Why is this important to me?
Who am I doing it for?
What are my goals?
How will I define my success?
As mentioned before, I felt that with each issue I was focusing more and more on what other people may like. I found myself stuck for ideas. With this time to reset, I am realigning my thoughts and purpose, and stating them here to hold myself accountable. These are my answers to the questions above:
What am I doing? | I have created a digital magazine to write about and share thoughts regarding topics that interest me, and I find them to be some useful addition to my and other people's lives. In an effort to make our lifestyles better, joyful, and more eclectic. I will write about content that enriches the mind and soul in some way. |
Why am I doing it? | I already think about these topics in my daily life. I read about these things. So by creating a digital magazine, I am able to articulate and document my thoughts online, and hopefully, inspire others. Also, it is fun and fulfilling. |
Who am I doing it for? | Primarily, for myself as a tool of documentation and inspiration. If other people join along the journey then the more, the merrier. |
What are my goals? | My first goal is to be consistent. Whilst, I don't consider myself to be the best writer, I do feel like I have a lot to say and even expel out of my mind. I find it a healthy and meaningful way to think more deeply about the world around me and my place in it. My second goal is to grow my mind. By having this magazine, I want to read deeply, learn widely and share my findings. |
How will I define my success? | By being consistent and not focusing too much on metrics. I find social media to be a wonderful tool to spread the word, but instead of dwelling on what is liked by others I will direct my attention on the matter I am talking about. |
What topics will I talk about in the upcoming magazines?
Wellness and self-development: I want to learn more about how I can enrich my own life and have a positive impact on others. The focus will not be on success, but on true contentment and happiness.
Travel and food: As the world opens up again, I am excited to share more about all the old and new experiences that I have with food, culture, art, and travel.
Fashion, beauty, and interiors: This will stay the same as before. Why? Because they are fun to talk about!
I am excited to see where the magazine (and blog) goes next!
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All previous issues of Ensemble are available here.
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